8 interesting talking points in “I know how she does it”

This is part 3; here is part 1 and here is part 2.

1. Women typically make their lives more difficult than they need by not using their affluence.

In South Africa, I think if you can afford it, most people happily have a domestic worker. I’m not sure many of us have hang-ups about using the money we have to make our lives easier. Agree? Disagree?

I think in cases where we “make our lives more difficult” it’s because of our values coming into play. An example of mine is how I personally made all the babies food their whole lives. More work, but I didn’t do it for financial reasons although the money savings were a nice side-benefit.

2. You can work 44 hours a week (a very standard week) and still feel unbalanced.

I agree. I think the unbalanced feelings come from unmet expectations and poor boundaries. I also think that the unbalanced feeling is from the real or imagined expectation that there is no flexibility to your day. I would personally hate to have to ask for permission to go to a parents’ evening at 4, and I know I’m not alone here. How much better to structure your day to still meet all your outcomes and attend to these parenting events?

3. There is a huge career and financial disadvantage to officially switching to part-time work

Rather ask for forgiveness than permission to attend to personal errands.

She mentions that women often ask for this permission whereas men just take it. Women are also the ones who have the tendency of moving towards part-time work.

4. You don’t build the life you want by saving time; you build the life you want and then time saves itself.

Sometimes narratives serve no purpose beyond keeping you from the life you want.

What is a deeply-held value and what is merely a script you memorised long ago?

5. Childcare is not an expense; it’s an investment in your lifelong earning potential.

I’ll admit I used to think like this. If what you earn will more or less just cover childcare expenses, and your expenses to be at work, then what is the point of working?

… only if you don’t enjoy or need to work. needing to work is not just financial, by the way. I love working to be useful, for the interaction with people, to use my skillset and oh yes, I get money too.

But childcare costs fall over time. Of course, if you educate your kids privately, costs increase exponentially.

6. 3 or more years out of the workforce for women means that they lose 37% of their earning power over the remaining decades.

That’s a lot of money to think about.

Some people think it’s wrong for women to think about money independently from men. I think it’s wise. We’ve heard too many stories about women having to radically change their lifestyle due to divorce, death of a spouse, etc. And in the Bible, did the Proverbs 31 women not keep herself busy and contribute to her family’s income?

(disclaimer – not only am I passionate about finances, but I also work in financial services, so this is a subject close to my heart :))

7. If you think you have no leisure time, start a binge-worthy series (TV or books). Leave books around and you’ll be entitled to read it.

True – I had to read 10 books in December to reach my reading goal, didn’t think I had the time but I did it. I did spend less time on Instagram and other social media so there’s that…

Is Pinterest (or for me, Instagram) really where you want to spend your leisure time?

8. Look at your work day and build leisure in. Meet a friend for lunch. Take a walk.

To me, this has always been a great way to maximise time at work. I often meet friends for lunch and I’m hoping to start a walking habit one day a week, during lunch. Hopefully I don’t melt during summer.

I’ll add something to that – eat lunch at your desk and meet a friend straight after work or on the way home. If you leave just half an hour early, meet a friend for an hour, that will be a 30-minute longer day but you’ll have done something fun and intentional too.

Which was the insight that most made you think/ have an aha moment?